For some strange reason, I've felt some kind of bliss over the past few days. I know that I am physically tired yet, I still throttle forward. I don't really know what has kept me going lately. Is it because I have a goal to achieve? Is it because I have come to a realisation that things will really take time to progress before they settle. It is a blessing that all things pass by at their own pace. When events take place as if it was just a gust of wind, you don't get to savour the essence of the moment. You're left with futile lingering on thoughts of the myriad of possibilities.

I am thankful to the powerful One who's been on my side even if I go astray. I falter, he reminds me to carry on. I know if I go wrong, it was me who went away.

Moving to another topic... the end is near. My closest friends in Sykes have dwindled in size. I miss Cher and eventually Johanna. I am planning to hold a dinner with both of them along with their lovies. All of a sudden I feel out of place. I can't help, but feel singled out. Therese has Chris, Cher and Sands, Jo and her Uyab. I can't explain whether I'd feel happy for them or pity myself. I've no right to let them feel my sadness. Ruining their happiness only shows how selfish I am. Anyway, dinner is still in planning stage, and it is final that they should bring their loves even if I'm solo.

TopherXpress: How are you doing?
TopherXpress: Are you feeling okay?
LiTeNBuBbLeE: Hi .. am okay.
LiTeNBuBbLeE: my tummys big though hehe.
LiTeNBuBbLeE: and u? why are stl up?
TopherXpress: I bet it is, I am really excited for you. I bet you can't wait.
TopherXpress: I have been in training and had to do some work.
TopherXpress: I am going to bed now.
LiTeNBuBbLeE: yah i can't ..
LiTeNBuBbLeE: okie...
TopherXpress: That is great. Do you know the sex?
LiTeNBuBbLeE: not yet.. i had my ultrasound though .. but the baby won't open up ..
TopherXpress: I hear ya.
LiTeNBuBbLeE: kept the legs closed real tight.
LiTeNBuBbLeE: must be shy ..
TopherXpress: Abby did that the fist time. Not if she is your baby!
TopherXpress: ;-)
LiTeNBuBbLeE: hahahaha
TopherXpress: Well, I am sure it will be the most beautiful baby ever!
TopherXpress: Good luck,
LiTeNBuBbLeE: hahaha.
LiTeNBuBbLeE: i miss you.
TopherXpress: When you get a chance, tell Mei-An I say hi. She was in my dreams last night. It was so real and so intense.
TopherXpress: I miss you too lil sis.
TopherXpress: A lot!
LiTeNBuBbLeE: hahaha intense.
LiTeNBuBbLeE: i will tell her that.
TopherXpress: We had so much fun!
TopherXpress: Thanks!
TopherXpress: *mwah*
LiTeNBuBbLeE: * mwah *
TopherXpress: See you later!
TopherXpress: :-D
TopherXpress signed off at 1:46:49 PM.

From my station I can see Momi Jay interview applicant after applicant ... I see the anxious looks they have on their faces. They smile at me tentatively ... I observe how the interview goes ... MJ looks intently at the applicant ... she smiles every now and then ... MJ looks like the ideal manager ... she acts like one as well... question and answer portion the applicant with her hair tucked neatly behind her ears, simply dressed in a gray blazer and a black skirt, light make up plus braces ... nothing fancy at all.. she looks smart and acts confident ... she crosses and uncrosses her legs a sign of nervousness ... the interview is over ... she offers her hand which MJ shakes ... they step out of the Blonde MUSLIMs room ... the MM CSR wanna be smiles at me ... I smile back knowingly ...

As I typed away in between bites of my jollibee cheeseburger ... I suddenly realized how blessed I was ... I got into this account without any difficulty < an interview with HR, and then Karen Landry plus Alicia Nasson > ... I was with Summer Wells ... we braved the storm ... and emerged winners.

Now ... I smile to myself smuggly ... am 6months pregnant but what the heck ... I belong to Macromedia ... I love my team ... and my team loves me as well.... as they always say ... and will continue to say MACROMEDIA NO.1 ...

i am in a more calm state of mind...

matapos kong isalang-alang ang lahat (at matapos ma-aprubahan ang leave ko ng 2 araw), napagisip-isip ko na makabubuting dumito muna ko sa kinalalagyan ko. may mga bayaring kailangang byaran, may mga kaibigang hindi ko maiwan...

malaki-laki din ang pinagbago ko mula ng mapadpad ako dito...changes all for the best...

this will do... for now.

nagising nalang ako ng bigla... hmph may mag pupukpuk ng lecheng bakal na drum sa labas...sinigawan nung isang kapitbahay... tumigil rin... pero di ako makatulog...ayan ayan ayan naiisip ko na naman.... sabi nya mag apply nako as TL... thought about it once...twice...a million times....ayaw ayaw ayaw talaga.... it would be unfair naman to the team kse aalis rin ako by May or June... antay ko lang my nursing license ... i dont want to commit to something that i will leave later on... PRESSURE PRESSURE.... sige na raw apply na raw ako okay lang raw yun... ayoko talaga. final na.

and you're wondering why i'm wasting my time asking for your forgiveness...

...because i know that i screwed up, and i admit it
...because i believe that my genuine concern for a friend was worth trading my word of honor for
...because i am bothered when people make false assumptions
...because nobody ever enjoyed the feeling of being blamed

and most of all,

...because notwithstanding the fact that i have disappointed you, i deem it necessary to save our friendship...because i know that this is something for keeps. let me know if you think otherwise and i'll never bother you again. ever.

i am tired.

like a good pair of shoes, i am compltely worn out. kumbaga sa cellphone kelangan ko na ire-charge.

i have never been so sick in my life...kasi pagod na ko. gusto ko ng pahinga. sana sa birthday ko makapahinga ako...

apparently, hindi pa rin pwede.

kelangan kumayod ng diosa nyo hindi dahil sa kelangan ng ekstrang pera ngunit dahil sa kulang ng tao sa floor. kawawa naman ang maiiwan na agents sa floor.

ako? hindi ba ako kawawa???

apat na buwan na kong panggabi... halos hindi na ko uma-absent. at parang naghimala si bathala at hindi na ko nale-late...like prima, i have had a change of heart. i have come to certain realizations which made me stay with the current job that i have. i am able to see the advantages and disadvantages and i have willingly accepted what i can and can't do.

i understand where you are coming from. i am giving this my all.

kulang pa ba yon???

i am tired. i am sick. i guess it's time to find a new job...

There are some things in life that are hard to explain...

Like how she regained her thirst for life. The desire to rediscover the passion in the things she does.

She gingerly stepped outside for a whiff of fresh air and got more than she bargained for. Lighting a cigarette, she followed the smoke and as her eyes traveled upward, she noticed how undisturbed the sky looked.

Strips of clouds outlined the night sky reminding her so much of her favorite place.
Closing her eyes, she was transported back to that wonderful spot.
It felt almost real that she could hear the rhythmic sound of the waves as it crashes to the shore.
It felt romantic how the scene seemed to strip away her restlessness.
She could still taste the salt on her lips..how she loved the way her feet left prints in the sand and how they disappear the moment the water touches it.

She opened her eyes and took in the stillness of the night. Exhaling slowly, she suddenly felt revived..as if she physically came back from that magical place.

She found out that she need not go far to feel at peace with herself. She just had to sit still and reach inside herself to find out what she really wants.


Author's note: I am a romantic fool and am damn proud of it...

A night spent full of stories, beers, food and friendship. Last night, we had a chance to hangout in a very nice place in Greenhills. The place was perfect for lunch, dinner or even romantic dates. It was a perfect venue to chill-out.

Everybody shared stories, crack jokes, and drink. With candles all over the place, delicious food plus slow music that made the ambiance complete, we were able to make the bond of friendship stronger.

At the edge of the long table, I saw one of my friend sharing stories with someone. She keeps on smiling and seems to be anxious to know this someone more. On the opposite edge was another friend busy cracking jokes and taking pictures. Zombie's heart was overjoyed that her prince charming joined us. I was sitting in between forever-blue and d'ish. Brat was also there with us (too bad Donna was not with her). D'ish was too excited and can't wait for her honey to pick her up. Hmmm…Is love better the second time around? Dj even took time to seat on his throne and release excess nutrients off his stomach. My sweetie arrived late and made us complete.

Moments like this was enough for us to end a week long of work. Enjoying and at the same time making most out of the time we spend together. I love you all guys, gays and gals.

"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Here is the link for my new blogsite. The other one will be for personal use only na lang. Hehehe!!! Keep bloggin!

Sulking on my couch, watching the afternoon sun slowly dissipating into oblivion, i reminisce of the years gone by.
Sipping my ice cold, mango infused tea, my physical body is slowly liberated from stress and toxic emotions that torture my very spirit. Wearing a smile from ear to ear, as he enters the room. His silhoutte shows a trace of his rippled muscles flexing in the dusk. Slowly walking towards me, he pulls off his shirt...licks his lips...unlaces his sheer drawstring loungepants...revealing a very powerful set of masculine legs. He reaches for me and hoists me up on the back rest of the couch. My drink spills onto my chest trickling down to my stomach and legs. He winks his eyes and draws a heavy breathe and sinks his head onto my chest. His tongue flickers in teasing my nipples while his right hand squeezing my ass. He begins to wander down onto my stomach, licking the tea all the way to the traces of my inner thighs. I begin to shiver out of excitement. It felt like my body was uncontrollably convulsing. He raised his head, and forcefully thrusts his tongue into my mouth. I was struggling for air. Our tongues were fiercely battling for control. I gave up and he won over me. He threw me on the couch. Afterwhich, he tears his trunks and his throbbing manhood sprang like the Washington monument. HE became more aggressive. Grabbed my hair and then tore off my shirt and tossed me like a vegetable in a salad bowl. He slid my undies off and poured some KY on my ass. He slowly rimmed my hole making me moan and groan. He unwrapped a condom and put it on his raging lovestick. From there, he slowly entered me...and I shouted out of ecstacy and pain. His motions moved from grace to wild. His fuckpole explored every inch of my bowels making me loose my sense and cum. After my great moment, he began to rock further until he was close. He removed the condom and started squeezing his dick. I immediately positioned myself on all fours and engulfed his manhood as he exploded in my mouth. His sweet lovejuice overflowed to the edges of my mouth. He was spent and lay flat on the floor. I was tired too but still yearned for his manliness. So I rode him and gently fell to his chest and went to sleep.

-END-

So, I voluntarily agreed to have the rectal exams for the APE. I have to admit, I've never felt so good in a long time. I has been quite a while since someone stuck his in my ass. I have to say, LEWD IS GOOD... now if i could only find a man to fuck me...

pasensya na ha... kelangan liitan yung pic kasi nasisira ang form na ating blogst... yun lang.

Juice ko. Hindi ko alam kung mababaliw ako. Baliw nga ata kasi hindi ko lang maintindihan. Sobra na kapag nakakakita ako ng efek AFAM, halos itapon ko yung sarili sa paanan nila upang mapansin. Wala akong pakialam kung babuyin nila ako, ihian, tapakan o kung anuman. Basta okay lang ako kung gamitin nila katawan ko at makuha ko yung kailangan ko. Kailangan ko ng laman ng isang matipunong lalaking AFAM! PUNYETA! Yun lang.

ayan... ang saya ng blog natin... may napo-poot, may naiirita sa katabi at ka-officemate... may tigang na prolific writer (yooohooo.. ian!!!)... at may isang diosa na di-mawari ang gagawin....

these days, it's so hard to be beautiful... promise! it's so hard to break people's hearts and turn your back on temptation... kung di ko lang talaga sya mahal... hay..

to all the men whose hearts i've broken, this is for all of you...

Can We Still Be Friends?

We can't play this game anymore
But can we still be friends
Things just can't go on like before
But can we still be friends

We had something to learn
Now it's time for the wheel to turn
Grains of sand one by one
Before you know it it's all gone

Let's admit we made a mistake
But can we still be friends
Heartbreak's never easy to take
But can we still be friends
It's a strange sad affair
Sometimes seems like we just don't care
Don't waste time feeling hurt
We've been through hell together

Where do we go from here

We can't play this game anymore
But can we still be friends
Things just can't go on like before
But can we still be friends

We awoke from our dream
Things are not what they always seem
Memories linger on
It's like a sweet, sad, old song

Where do we go from here
Where do we go from here

I can't play this game anymore
Can we still be friends
Things just can't go on like before
I just wanna be friends
I just wanna be, wanna be, wanna be
And now I just wanna be friends
We had something to learn, something to learn
Now can we still be friends
Let's admit our mistakes

as for those who are laughing their asses off thinking i am not beautiful enough to attract the opposite sex's attention... pls remember that i am called "diosa" around here... and they don't call me that for nothing!*wink*

I chatted with a friend... after all these months she asked me did you mean to get pregnant??? once and for all... bcoz other people speculate / think that you did on purpose ... I was stunned.

Isn't this so pinay ... so typical... so soap operatic??? I am far from the typical pinay ... from the average pinay ...
" iniwan. nagpaloko. nagpakatanga. nabuntis di naman pinakasalan kase ayaw naman sa kanya nung lalake ... " do you think hearing things like this make it easier for me??? I laugh at the jokes being told around ... why the hell don't I throw in a comment or two ... This is the cross I have to carry ... this is the cycle I chose to spun around in ... rather chosen not to spin around in anymore.

PUTANG INA! ginusto ko ba mabuntis? puta! kung ginusto ko mabuntis dati pa. Asan ba ang utak mo!!!
leche ... whatta fucker!

How heartless can you be??? how insensitive can you be???

I will rest my head in prayer and hoep only for the best and ask God to forgive you for condemning me and my unborn child. I will think of you one day and pray to God you're still alive so I can kill you with my bare hands ...

I don't want to be too harsh ... after all I still am pregnant ... wait till I give birth ...

In our days of youth, we hardly noticed the passage of time. This was the case especially when we were eagerly looking forward for a special day. Our earnestness keeps us detached of days passing by. The eyes dilate as if it were craving of something that was long depirved for eternity.

As we matured, we began to become more disinterested and less patient of awaiting for a single day to pass. Some may gather their thoughts at the end of the day and think if there was something achieved worth noting...none. Our eyes are too focused in looking ahead, contemplating on what is yet to come.

At some point in our lives, we fumble. We fumble because we fail to look and observe the path that we thread on. We devote too much time and effort about the future, that we have sacrificed the very existence of the present time.

Our qualms, anxieties, and anticipation has led us to our demise. Only then we realise that so much time has passed...it passed like a gust of wind, a drop of water, a moment's ray of light.

We find it hard to rise from the fall, as if the chances and opportunities that life has to offer were all taken away in one sweep. We should not give up. The sole fact that man is capable of reasoning makes him the very exceptional being he is. In time, our scrarred sides, scraped knees, bruised limbs and broken hearts will have served its purpose...The purpose of carrying on until we draw the last air of this corporeal existence.

Pop some sleeping pills. Chug some scotch. Nirvana. Humid day makes it utterly mad to sleep. Ha! One way of romancing death is to imagine that death is man. A man with supple skin. Walking slowly towards you as he gently removes his robe. He puts down his scythe and then the rain starts pouring. Feel the sensuous pelting rain on your skin as he draws near your mouth and torridly kisses you. You go down slowly...inching from his nipples down to his extremely succulent manhood. He grabs your hair and forcibly moves you to down his entire sex. Slowly he succumbs to your to and fro motion until he cannot contain it. He starts spilling out his love juice and you swallow earnestly as if it was the water of life...

I am just totally fucked up. I so want to go to Australia to attend my nephew's wedding. I hate the fact that I don't have the money to do so. They've sent the Invites...cool. Bad??? My Aunt promised my presence on the special day! WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?!?!?! Did I even give a go signal for her to blurt it out? I mean, if they'd pay for my fair, I'm completely okay with that. BUT NO! Let's just see what happens. Who knows, I may win the lottery tomorrow and leave this forsaken country to start over.

A d r i e n n e says:
st lukes na talaga tee?
m a s t e r LEE says:
yah.
m a s t e r LEE says:
will it be causing conflict?
m a s t e r LEE says::
tell me?
A d r i e n n e says:
no sweetie
A d r i e n n e says:
just wanted you to be sure
A d r i e n n e says:
un ba ang gusto mo?
A d r i e n n e says:
tell me honestly
m a s t e r LEE says:
yah.
A d r i e n n e says:
di na kita macoconvince to change your mind?
m a s t e r LEE says:
tell me what your personal reasons ???
•·.·• Mastεr LεE®•·.·• don't leave me hanging. says:
are?
A d r i e n n e says:
2 reasons lang naman
A d r i e n n e says:
mas malapit
A d r i e n n e says:
and mas practical
m a s t e r LEE says:
uhmmm... do u plan to ask ur parents to help u out financially when I'm about to give birth?
A d r i e n n e says:
depende kung kulangin
A d r i e n n e says:
pero theyre willing to help
m a s t e r LEE says:
I know they are tee ... where do u plan to get the money? for ur share?
A d r i e n n e says:
ako ng bahala
m a s t e r LEE says:
wag ka naman magalit.
A d r i e n n e says:
im not mad tee
A d r i e n n e says:

m a s t e r LEE says:
i was just wondering kase .. ur not saving naman... dami kang gastos.
m a s t e r LEE says:
isip ko lang mahihirapan ka.
A d r i e n n e says:
kaya nga sa medical tayo
m a s t e r LEE says:
edi lumabas din ung totoo ...
A d r i e n n e says:
na ano?
A d r i e n n e says:
un nga ang totoo
A d r i e n n e says:
practical
A d r i e n n e says:
and location
A d r i e n n e says:
dati ko pa naman sinabi ha
A d r i e n n e says:
wala akong tinago
m a s t e r LEE says:
here are my sentiments If u started saving already money will not be a big problem.
m a s t e r LEE says:
yes you've always told me medical city is more practical.
A d r i e n n e says:
kahit maraming money hindi mo ba naisip na maging practical?
m a s t e r LEE says:
TAMA KA DON.
m a s t e r LEE says:
ako pa ang hindi nag isip maging practical?
m a s t e r LEE says:
tee that's not fair of you ...
m a s t e r LEE says:
sasabihin mo sakin u've always been honest with me????
m a s t e r LEE says:
sabay you'll tell me kung ano ang gusto ko yun ang masusunod.
m a s t e r LEE says:
i don't get it?
A d r i e n n e says:
ano bang reason mo bakit st lukes?
m a s t e r LEE says:
bcoz my family will not entrust my life and the life of MY child with someone they don't know.
A d r i e n n e says:
thats good enough reason for me
A d r i e n n e says:
eh di sa st lukes na nga
m a s t e r LEE says:
you don't have to help if you don't want to..
m a s t e r LEE says:
the last thing me and MY CHILD will need from you is pity.
A d r i e n n e says:
pity???
m a s t e r LEE says:
yes.
m a s t e r LEE says:
awa.
A d r i e n n e says:
sino???

m a s t e r LEE says:
basahin mo ulit baka mahanap mo.
A d r i e n n e says:
pagmamahal to sa anak ko
A d r i e n n e says:
wag mo naman angkinin lahat
m a s t e r LEE says:
really?
m a s t e r LEE says:
what do u know about love?
A d r i e n n e says:
lets just see
m a s t e r LEE says:
whatever.
A d r i e n n e says:
since di ka naman naniniwala
A d r i e n n e says:
theres no point in convincing you
m a s t e r LEE says:
hmmm.. and I wonder why..
m a s t e r LEE says:
why are u doing this? para ba walang masabe ang ibang tao tungkol sayo? para hindi masira ang tingin nila sayo?
A d r i e n n e says:
ginagawa ang?

m a s t e r LEE says:
ginagawa yan ... eto ... mabait ... parang supportive daw ..
m a s t e r LEE says:
parang understanding and patient. pero hinihiritan ako nang HERE WE GO AGAIN ..
m a s t e r LEE says:
pero pag sawa ka and di mo feel .. wala kang pakelam..
A d r i e n n e says:
i was sorry i said that
A d r i e n n e says:
galit lang ako
m a s t e r LEE says:
pano yung pointless ako and mukha akong sira????
A d r i e n n e says:
sinabi ko ba un?
m a s t e r LEE says:
oo naman.
m a s t e r LEE says:
ilang beses mo nga sinabi yun sa kin.
A d r i e n n e says:
alam mo naman pag mainit ung ulo ko eh

A d r i e n n e says:
i say a lot of things i dont mean
A d r i e n n e says:
i know kelangan kong mabago un
m a s t e r LEE says:
ahh okie. pano naman yung mga sinabi mo nung hindi mainit ulo mo?
m a s t e r LEE says:
like u know mga mushy stuff and sweet nothings? ano un? u just felt like saying those things?
A d r i e n n e says:
sweetie naman
A d r i e n n e says:
shempre i meant that
m a s t e r LEE says:
ahhh okie.

so kailangan pagdaanan ko pa ito???
now I know better....