Just explain to me this phenomenon: what is it with the boys who would prefer the effortless option than embarking on something slightly risky but ultimately more rewarding??? Is it listlesness? Is it their being commitment phobic? Or is it simply in their nature NOT to take risks? Hmmm...probably all of those things. Makes me wonder if I'm just meeting the wrong kind of guys, who happen to be 'boys' and not 'men'. *sigh*. But I swear to God, if I hear from one more person how I am essentially the woman of their dreams but they'd rather have the girl whom they can hook up with with just one wink....well, I might as well grow old single. (hmmmmmm...can i handle that? =P)


Such boys always claim they want a challenge, yet when presented with one they run for the hills.

I'm still waiting for one to prove me wrong -- any takers??? You don't necessarily have to offer yourself to me though, you can just simply react to this 'phenomenon' and help me (and thousands of women out there) better understand men. =)

the silence of the lambs .. their cries can be heard thru the night .. their wails of pain .. then sudden silence.. deafening silence..
I have taken the vow of silence for reasons known to myself ... I will respect whatever opinions are shared .. and experiences shared..
will share some of mine as well.. but for the moment .. I will be silent .. a silent observer ..

let me share my thoughts:

I am 3months pregnant.
gaining weight.
my hair is dry.
my tummy is expanding OBVIOUSLY!
my skin is getting worse everyday. but I believe when this is over.. I will emerge a beautiful SWAN. I am an ugly duckling right now.
for those whose comments I've heard in the restroom thinking they were all alone... wait till I give birth and bang your heads against the walls of the bathroom? okay?
if the walls have ears .. well so do I? and my unborn child as well...
if there's one thing I love about being pregnant is eating and gaining weight for a REASON.
hehehe

one last comment. there was this girl from the fifth floor.. she goes .. MASTER??? ang pangit mo naman .. ano nangyari sa mukha mo??? parang tumataba ka???
the woman obviously doesn't know what's best for her .. and that I had my pepper spray in my left hand .. she was kinda chubby too..
I go .. oo nga eh .. tumataba ako .. ikaw din ah... BUNTIS ka rin ba? she turns BRIGHT RED and in the elevator with 3 other persons from the 14th floor...
I get off at my floor and smile .. toss my hair.. and tell her byee .. still clutching my pepper spray.

well what do you know huh? I still am the master ... as the Señor has described me .. I am a MUPPET .. ask him abt the story..

I have decided to take the backseat.
The play is finished. The curtain has dropped.

I have reached my melting point.
I have arrived at a crossroad and all I can do is stop.
I can't believe being so transparent will be the death of me.

Who can blame me for being so disillusioned now?

Friends who tell half-baked truths…make me want to wring their necks until I see only the whites in their eyes.
A Specter that would’ve continued to interest me if it only showed a bit of partiality and disclosed what it wants from me…makes me want to drop a bucket on its head, bang it a few times until it sees stars.

I thought everything would come off nice if I let my self out in the open.
I was in for a disappointment.
I considered taking a step forward and not wait for things to happen in the hopes of getting a just reward or maybe someone or something I deserve.
Again, I was in for a disappointment.

So this time, I’ll take a step back.
Focus the light on someone else.
I’ll just stay on the sides.
Be a mere Observer this time.
Hoping that life catches on somehow and drag me back on track…

Until then, ‘bahala na kayo’

..healing comes so painfully...and it chills to the bone
can anyone get close to me?
I'm damaged as I'm sure you know..

Everything has its limit .. I've finally reached mine.. must everything end with a not - so - happy ending? I guess for peace and proseperity and love to all mankind???
I will be taking the vow of silence .. in order for everybody to be slap happy... and be happily swimming about ..

When everything is well ... maybe then will you hear me .. sing .. and see me dance about .. for now ... there will be silence of the lambs ..

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity."

'Pana-panahun ng pagkakataon...maibabalik ba ang kahapon?'

Ngayon pag maririnig ko yun, iba na maiisip ko...kung gaano ko ka-miss ang dati kong mga ka-chokaran...Haay...sana maibalik ang kahapon...

Ewan ko ba..pero ayaw ko ang bago kong puwesto..or ang hindi pagbago ng aking puwesto...

Wala akong makausap. Malamang mapapanis ang laway ko dito simula ngayon..wag naman sana!

Nakakabato..la na yung mga kakulitan ko lage. Wala na yung katapat ko na si That's na bigla na lang babanat ng isang malalim na Tagalog na kanta o kaya naman tatanungin ako ng mga makabagbag damdaming katanungan tulad ng, 'Ang Uod ba pag namamatay inuuod din?"..nakakamiss pala yun. Namimiss ko na din si Michelin na lagi akong inaasar. Lagi kameng nagpipisilan ng taba sa ilalim ng braso. Tinutukso ko sha sa bading na humaling na humaling sa kanya tapos tinutukso din nya ako sa isa sa mga kasamahan namen.

Wala na din yung katabe kong laging natataranta pag may tawag. Yung napaka controversial na Loverboy.
Ang layo na din ni 'Snort-Face'. Nasa kabilang ibayo na. I bet, natatameme din sha dun. La na ding kakulitan.

Haaay...ano kayang magandang gawin para di mamatay sa sobrang walang magawa? Pick my nose? Nah, too gross..Uhm, talk to myself? Baka malaman nilang siraulo lang akong nagpapanggap na normal..Hmm..idaan sa pagkain? Yoko naman lumobo..

Haay...What will I do?!?!?!!Ayoko mamatay sa sobrang kabatuhan!!! Tulungan nyo ako!
Tayo nang magkaisa...ipakiusap na ibalik tayo sa luma nating kanlungan!!!

'Lumilipas ang panahon, Kabiyak ng ating gunita...ang mga puno't halaman
Bakit kailangan lumisan?'

back from a not-so-restful weekend. i was hoping for a quiet, pensive weekend but no... the diosa had to be invited here, there, and everywhere...

i went around the mall with keith and his family saturday afternoon at his dad's request. then sunday came along and i had to drop by the office to clean up my mailbox. i am still thinking if passing by the office was a good idea (although by now, this is moot point) because this brought about an invitation by the great El Senior himself. despite my goddess status, i felt obliged to come. after all, he was the only one who thought i was relevant enough to be invited. so keith and i went.

we ate some pretty good food, drank beer, and talked and kidded around. it was fun.

for those of you who are hanging in there hoping that i will reveal some nice juicy stuff i gleaned from the party, well... i'm sorry. i was able to get some nice tidbits of information but i have promised a vow of silence. all i can say is jar-jar and cay are on every guy's list; jhon-jhon baby has that twinkle in his eye once again;marlon's cellphone can float on water; and that if you want "straight talk", you go to julio.

oh... and before i forget...jubs said that we should not look for the right woman but be the right man... i know, i know... he was inebriated at the time... *wink* =D

I got here on time .. on my way to work .. I saw a billboard saying FINDING NEMO opens August 13, 2003 ... I was opened mouth .. I was shocked ..
I couldn't believe it .. I find myself drawn to the little fish .. or maybe I see some resemblance .. wag naman sana.. pucha.. ano ba ang meron ang isdang yan?
orange in color .. a clown fish??? di naman makain .. hmmmm.. tang ina ang cute lang talaga ni Nemo ..

Oo nga pala KAREN the cat is here.. as usual .. flawless beauty and complexion .. what else can you ask for??? let's not get into details...
I hear that the party of the Señor was a blast.. well ... cheers to you ..

well.. the master has shift tonight .. and yes .. I will fill this page up with something ... hmmm... for Jarjar's benefit ... let's just put it this way .. I will never trust a smiling cat bcoz .. I have been deceived into believing that he is a kind hearted soldier ... a man of war and courage .. of valor and strength .. in other words that's bullshit.
I realized how he is mistaken for a SAINT ... must I puke and throw up to make myself heard and understood? I will for the sake of my unborn child refrain from using harsh words... Jarjar .. let's talk it over sometime .. hehehe.

Tama ang sabi ni PURPLE STORM ... hindi lang sila ang kaliwete .. buti pala at ambidextrous ako nang ipanganak.. I AM GOOD WITH BOTH MY HANDS ... believe me... " hold them up HIGH so CLEAN and BRIGHT .. clap them softly 1,2,3 clean littel hands are good to ......... let's not finish such an innocent song okay? si sinigang naman at si big girl .. I wish them both well.. no bitterness towards them .. sana maging masaya sila.. as long as it will not involve the spreading of stories about me and about the lives of my friens then everything is fine with me ..

ang CS GEN puno nang kulay ang mga character... may bading .. need i mention names??? may tibo .. my source says BISEXUAL .. may taga that's .. that's laos .. pero in fairness mabait sya sa akin .. may maternal master .. syempre ako yun .. may aspiring couple ... hanggang pag - asa na lang .. iba't ibang PUTAhe .. iba't ibang luto .. masaya ito ... puno nang laughter ang buhay dito.. haaay kay tahimik dito kapag sabado nang gabi ... si That's andito .. nuod daw kami 13 GHOST .. dala nya VCD ..
wow .. may magagawa pala ako after all..

Ang buhay dito sa MM .. kay saya .. kay kulay .. parang bahaghari .. hindi bahag nang hari ha .. wag kayong bastos please... anyways, yun ang mga sources namin mukhang madaming balita .. daig ang stalktalk and the buzz .. sige mag iisip ako kung sino ang pwedeng JABOOM twins .. basta ...

ika nga ni DORY sa FINDING NEMO .. " you want a piece of me??? "
sa mga taong nagsasalita habang wala ako .. kung may gusto kayong malaman sa akin nyo itanong .. wag sa iba .. okie?

Halos lahat ng tao sa paligid ko nagkakagulo...dilubyo na ba?!?!
Yung iba nagrereklamo dahil ayaw yung lilipatan nilang mundo (may kilala ako may iniiwasan sha..stalker ata)..yung iba naman excited kase siguro gusto nila magiging seatmate nila (kraz siguro, di ko alam)...
Ako?
Eto, tinitignan silang lahat..mukha silang tanga. Buhat-buhat yung mga mabibigat na monitor, CPU at kung anik-anik.
Naiiyak ako...
Dahil naiinggit ako sa kanila. Gusto ko din lumipat. Kahit ako lahat magbuhat ng computer n'yo ok lang...ayoko lang sa puwesto ko ngayon...alamin nyo na lang kung bakit...
I promise to be good..Hindi na ko pepetiks..di na ko aabsent liban na lang kung tumitirik na talaga mata ko. Sige na please...pagbigyan nyo na ko...kahit magkano ibibigay ko...parang awa nyo na...DAYM!
This is a call to arms...I will not be able to function well.
Sige, kayo din! Uhm..magre-resign ako!
*hikbi*

ayan.. buti pa si hazeee.. may deyt. ako? wala. all i have planned for the weekend is here. i am in no mood for any merriment. reklamo nga ni keith lagi ko na lang siyang sinisigawan. siguro kasi yung frustrations ko sa kanya ko nabubunton. o siguro kasi may sira tenga nya kaya feeling nya lagi akong nasigaw... =D

hmmm.. nababalitaan ko na itong sina jar-jar at meme eh aning na aning sa peyups. try nyo rin... maganda sya. the site is ver informative. punta kayo dun sa sex and intimacy forums nila. masaya!*wink*

sa mga minamahal kong tagasubaybay, pasensya na. wala akong tsimis ngayon eh. baka next week meron na. actually merong lumalaganap na balita na hindi lang daw ako at si meme, ian at jayvee ang mga left-handed sa team na ito. meron pa raw according to my source. kung sinu-sino sila eh hindi ko na sasabihin. besides, baka masyado lang mapanghusga ang source ko. at nga pala... medyo napapadalas ang alis ni big girl at sinigang. nakita ko kasi sila, dedma to the world sa mall a week or 2 ago. mukhang nagkakaigihan sila. isa lang ang masasabi ko... YUCK!ahhh..sorry.. i don't mean to be harsh or anything.forgive me. nabigla lang ako. ang ibig kong sabihin eh "YAH!". maganda iyan. ituloy nila. sana matuloy sa sex.. ay!sa pag-iibigan pala. love muna bago sex...

mabalik tyo sa mga adik at hindi pa adik sa peyups.eto. basahin nyo. maganda yan. tungkol sa love. alam kong lahat tyo at adik sa emosyon na yan kaya ayan. paka-adik kayo! ehehehehheh...

well... your goddess is closing her little shop of horrors for this weekend. see you all on monday. great weekend to you all!!!

I'm so excited! Saturday is coming... I'm going to watch Duncan Sheik in concert with my one and only u know who.... well I just call this a date that we haven't had in years! Last concert we went to was Side A at Island Cove and that was our first date pa 5 years ago .... we do go out but its the usual mall-movie-restaurant date...

So I just call this one major event in our relationship... Im just so happy and I wanted to share this with everyone.

Salamat kay Cecilia at nadiskubre ko tong site ng PEYUPS. Kakaaliw yung mga artik lalo na yung kwento ng isang torpe. Tapos meron ding kwento ng dating stalker.

Kaaliw check nyo minsan. Pampaalis ng bagot!

*bow*

o ayan ha... may bago akong post. andito sya.OO. tungkol sa meteor garden. eh kasi naman noh... sinaniban nyo ko ng meteor garden marathon chuchi nyo... ayan... adik na tuloy ako... daym.. so there... read on my post and laugh, cry, sigh, whatever. tag board or comments link, your choice. ciao!!!

Just wanted to share this with you guys...I chanced upon this email when I was trying to clean up my Inbox.

I know some of you will be able to relate to it. I know for sure 'coz when I was on that side, I cried while reading it.

Here you go...=)
-------------------

Now I have an idea why people make such a big deal about exes. Y'know..stuff like, getting over the ex. Dealing with the ex. Being friends with the ed. Being the ex.

I am an ex.

I know that it's stupid--and sillu--to sound as if my whole life revolved around being somebody's ex-girlfriend. But I can't help it..that title packs a pretty strong punch. I am now an official member of the "loved-and-lost" club. And while it's a title I don't exactly want, I have to admit that it does say some things about me.

I am an ex.

I once loved someone who loved me back. But he didn't want to stay...So I had to let him go. I cried. A Lot. I spent countless nights wondering what went wrong, muffling my sobs with my pillows so may parents wouldn't suspect that something was amiss. I'd reminisce about our happy times, then break down when I'd realize that he was no longer mine.

I analyzed every single detail of our breakup. I wrote long e-mails to my closest friends. I talked endlessly about my situation. I spent my nights in tearful telephone conversations and my days in daydreams where we'd end up in each other's arms again. Sometimes he was still my angel, still my knight in shining armor who I'd do anything for just to have back. But sometimes, I saw him as the devil incarnate who broke my heart in the worst possible way, and who deserved to be horsewhipped at the very least.

I told myself that it was all for the better. That this was what was best for the both of us. That this was God's plan. My friends offered similar advise, none of which I hadn't heard before: "It's a sign that you're not meant for each other," "When God closes a door, He opens a window," "Someone better is coming for you," "There are so many other fish in the sea." etc. But it didn't work. Because deep dpwn, I still believed that he was the one, the only one. And I couldn't understand how this was all for the better...when every day seemed more torturous than the last..not being able to be with him the way I wanted to be, seeing him so unaffected, and dealing with my broken-and-smashed heart and my bruised ego.

I tried to immerse myself in other activities to forget about him. I went out a lot. I filled my schedule with movie marathons, shopping sprees, and Dance Manax. It worked for a while...but then there were times -- times when my mind was cleared of the busy thoughts I tried to occupy it with -- that I would think of him. His memory would sneak up to me on tiptoes, catching me in my most vulnerable moments.

I tried to show the worls that I was OK. That I was over him. That it was fine just being friends. I didn't go around with a big "X" on my forehead, nor did I go around with puffy eyes and a tissue box. I tried to live my life as I knew it before I met him. People thought that I was doing great. They heard me laugh and they saw me smile; I seemed happy, they said; and I told myself that I was. But in the solace of my room, where I tried to organize my thoughts and sort out my feelings, I had to admit to myself that I wasn't truly happy. Becuase I was still yearning for someone, and my heart still ached for somethign that could not be. It's been over a year since we broke up, surprisingly, things have gotten better. I've changed. SOmewhere along the way, I realized that he wasn't the only one for me. I also realized that there were valid, powerful reasons why we split up. And I've become stronger, older, wiser. He's changed as well -- when I look at him, sometimes I still see the boy I fell in love with. Sometimes I think that he's the same person..he still has the same goofy smile and mischievious charm that I fell for, and I like to believe that the rest of him is unchanged as well. But then I take a closer look and I realize that he HAS changed...that I don't know him anymore, not really..not enough to love and care for him as I once did.

I am an ex.

I've loved and lost. I've cried tears for the things that were and that could have been. I've wrestled with intense feelings of love and hate, of jealousy, of frustration. I've simultaneously taken down and brought up my pride. I've tried to rebuild my world without the person whom I used to revolve around. I've tried to save myself from the depths of depression and self-pity, and when I couldn't do that, I turned to God for help. I don't know exactly what I gained, or how much I lost. Maybe someday it will be all clear to me..then again, maybe not.

Since puro love, sige....

Ang love kase di na hinahanap... yan ang hahanap sayo... darating rin yan lalo sa mga matagal nang naghihintay... wag kayong mag-alala...
nagsawa na rin ako noon... I got scarred so bad... at nung hindi ako naghanap... aba may dumating.... looks like forever na...

Darating rin yan....

Pero syempre wag pa ring kalimutan ang sarili. Kahit kayo na... time for yourself pa rin ang kelangan - find time to go out with your friends and family. Don't make the world revolve as if kayong 2 nalang... because in reality, there are still people around, you will need these people also so don't neglect them... kaya past relationships that didnt work out before are not at all bad - you learn from them... and from learning , you grow to be a more mature and sensitive individual....

Masakit magmahal, pero sabi nga naman, Its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I remember my mom telling me before.... We are all angels with one wing, we need another person to make us whole.

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
~ Erich Segal

Alam nyo nakakatawang isipin kung paano nasasabi ko sa sarili ko na "I was in love with her." Nakakatawa sya kasi sa buong buhay ko, ni wala pa yatang nagpakita sa akin o nagparamdam ng lintek na pagmamahal na yan. Ang ibig kong sabihin yung pagmamahal na tipong nakakabaliw.

Palagi niyang sinasabi "We're better off as friends." PUCHA!
Kaibigan?! Sa lahat ng ginawa ko para sa kanya at sa lahat ng sinakripisyo ko, kaibigan lang pala ang habol nya sa akin. Ano ba ito lokohan lang? Pero sige, sabi ko "move on, move on."

Tapos ito naman ang isa pa niyang hirit "Sweet lang ako kaya ako ganito sa iyo."
Lalong masakit! Bakit? Hanep naman kasi. Magiging sweet sa iyo, kakantahan ka pa, yayakapin, hahalikan at higit sa lahat sasabihan ng I LOVE YOU at ano ba yun 'special' boy ka sa kanya. Hindi mo aakalain na normal lang pala nyang ginagawa yun. Ikaw naman, mafofall ka, hindi mo mapigilan. Pero wala ka namang magawa. Ang sabi ko naman sa sarili ko ngayon, "Your loss, not mine."

At ano naman ang sabi ko naman sa sarili ko ngayon? "Bahala ka! Marami pa naman dyang iba!" Tapos sige move on ulit. Ito ang pamatay sa lahat. Nanligaw si lalaki, at naging close sila ni babae na parang sila na. Maganda na sana ang relationship tapos isang araw, sasabihin na lang sa iyo, "Hindi ko na kaya. Tapusin na natin ito." Iniwan ka na lang basta ng dahil sa isang dahilang hindi mo malunok na maintindihan at tanggapin. Ni hindi mo alam kung gusto mong sabunutan o suntuk-suntukin ng paulit-ulit baka sakaling matauhan at sabihin nyang, "Joke lang po." Pero hindi. Sa halip na sya ang makaramdam ng sakit ng sabunot at kirot ng suntok, ikaw pa ang halos mamatay sa triple or higit pang sakit. At ang masakit pa kinabukasan malalaman mo na ang tunay na dahilan eh, 'sila' na ng matalik mong kaibigan. NAMPUCHA! Hindi mo alam kung iiyak ka, o sisigaw ka o susugurin mo ang "your so called bestfriend at isumbat sa kanya lahat ng nararamdaman mo. Sa huli, wala kang magawa kung hinde tanggapin ang lahat at maging masaya para sa kanila. May magagawa ka pa ba? Sasabihin mo naman sa sarili mo, "Makakarma rin kayo!" tapos hala, move! on ulit.

Nakakapagod magmahal, totoo yan. Pero bakit pa rin ako patuloy na naghihintay? Masyado lang ba ang tiwala ko sa pag-ibig o likas na tangengot lang talaga ako. Pareho yata. Tama, oo, pareho nga. Ang lakas kasi ng tiwala ko sa 'love" at sa kanya.Tipong kakambal ko na ba.

Masarap magmahal kahit na hindi mo alam kung mahal ka rin nya. Basta ikaw, mahal mo sya. Yun lang ang importante. Makita mo lang sya, feel mo gusto mong magpafiesta. Madikitan mo lang ang sinulid ng damit nya, ang sasabihin mo sa sarili mo, "Ay syet! Nadikit ako sa balat nya!" at sabay talon. Ngitian ka lang nya, pwede ka ng magpasagasa sa kotse or ibangga ang kotse mo sa gutter. Drama no?

Paano pa kaya kung "kayo" na? Eh di mas lalong humaba ang buhok mo. Andito na yung lagi nilang sinasabing hindi ka makakain, hindi ka makatulog at hindi ka makapag-isip na kahit na ano maliban lang ang mga pantasya mo na kasama sya.

Madrama na kung sa madrama pero pag in-love, aysus! Walang corny-corny, basta para sa kanya kahit may maisan ka na sa utak at puso mo, wala kang pakialam. Patuloy kang magmamahal at aasa na kayo na nga sana forever and ever.

Ako? Parang takot na yata akong ma-in-love ulit. Parang takot na akong sumubok pa ng isa. Parang ayoko na! Pero parang hindi tama. Ganyan naman sa 'love' diba? Sige lang, tuloy ka hangga't Makita mo ang katapat mo. Takot man akong sumubok muli, kakayanin ko ang takot na ito. Hindi para sa akin, kundi para duns a taong mamahalin ako ng higit pa sa kahit na ano. Yung taong aalagaan ako, taong magsasabi na mahal niya ako kahit na halos lumuwa na ang mata ko sa puyat at yung taong magsasabi na "Mga kumare, yan ang boyfriend ko. Iisa lang yan sa buhay ko." HAAAYYY!!! Sarap isipin noh?

Masarap at masakit umibig. Magkakambal yan. Nasasa inyo na lang kung pipiliin nyong kumapit o bumitaw.

Ngayon eto ako, umaasa pa rin. Andito pa rin ako na nagpapatuloy sa buhay, patuloy na humihinga at patuloy na nabubuhay para sa 'kanya'. Sa kanya, yung taong darating na para lang sa akin. At syempre eto pa rin ako, natatawa kapag sinasabi kong, "I was in love with her." Natatawang naniniwalang totoo ito.

I have made a lot of rash and thoughtless judgements and decisions in my life.. but this time ..I know I made the right choice...
I was gong around in circles .. going thru what they call a vicious cycle..

Being in a very delicate situation .. I will choose to remain silent than marching over to his place and whacking him left and right...
I will treasure his efforts and the time he spent with me ... my FRIEND and I have been thru a lot of shit and stuff, tsk. tsk. tsk.
My family has treated you as if you were a member of the clan ... I will think of the bright side of things ... however what saddens me is that ..
how two faced people can be .. why not be blunt honest??? what you see is what you get .. enough bullshit ..
My intellect is insulted that the man I have come to call my FRIEND is a two faced jerk .. the question is why? what do you get out of it?
does it make you more man and more appealing to the oppposite sex? or are you in desperate need of acceptance and love?

I will not waste any more of my time .. pondering about his goodness and the nature of his soul ..
I will wish him eternal peace and happiness because everybody deserves it ...

We must never trust a smiling cat .. tsk. tsk. tsk.

love, love,love... that seems to be all that i could read on our blog these days. oh well...you know what they say, a man who's got a broken car tends to talk about nothing but his broken car.*wink*

anyway, fresh from my fourth of july respite, i come to you with fresh news about the adorable cutie-fatty. a lot of you out there might still not be aware of who she is in real life, but c'mon people... the nickname i've given her here is as literal as i could get!

so back to the news... a very reliable source informed me that she could no longer take cutie-fatty's stupidity. it has happened on one too many occasions that she reputedly left the training room without prior notice to her trainor. also, her questions leave much to be desired. she has purportedly inquired on one instance, whether the Mac OS X is also an operating system. yep, she asked her dear trainor if OS X is an operating system.

the trainor almost died of shock...

ok, ok... not all of us are aware of various computer operating systems so why don't we cut her some slack? just like the trainor did. so after a couple of training sessions, she approached her trainor with a floppy disk in hand. she pointed to the disk drive and said "is that where i put the disk in?".

her trainor wanted to wring her neck. aparently, her brain is turning into saturated slush. or maybe it already is. it was just not that noticeable because (1) she's cute (well... i find her cute...) and (2) she doesn't talk much. i heard thru the grapevine that this are only 2 of the numerous boo-boos that she's made. hmmm... i wonder if among those boo-boos is the rumored pumping scene she had with thin man a couple of months ago. hmmmm... not only is she dense, she also has, uhm... not-so-grand taste in men. but i guess if you lack the intelligence, then virtually any man will do if the need should arise, right?... hehehhhehheh...

i'm not really into all that 'panlalait' thing. after all, i'm not perfect. but i do know where to put the floppy disk in and i at least, would be caught going down and dirty with a... uhmm.. 'decent-looking' guy.

her trainor is absolutely close to having a seizure.

I came to work today .. with high hopes and in a better mood... I was with my sisters earlier .. they were kidding abt the baby .. abt the things that was needed n preparation for the baby ..

He approachaes me and kisses me on the forehead.. we have made our peace... everything was a figment of yesterdays wrath ...

I slept dreadfully last night .. full of troubles and woes ... I woke up with a head splitting ache ... everything is going to be better .. after all I still have myself to care for and my soul..

this songs plays in my head over and over again .......

I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why I don't know

a few more minutes: i'll be on my way home.. I'm burning hot with fever ... my throat is sore... the master willbe out for awhile..
I'll be back soon ..

they think he is a man of valor and strength .. of ambition and determination .. of faith and belief... I simply think he's full of shit ..
he's full of sweet doings and actions.. all i can say is .. I admire he's tenacity ... more than once you have lied to me ... more often than not .. you used and abused me ..
and yet you claim to be a gentleman .. I think you full of crap .. and a real asshole.. for the first time .. there was someone worse than REKER ...
I will choose REKER OVER you a hundred times... You are despicable .. disgusting ... if u were here right now ..
I would have knocked the bloody daylight out of your system.. to stress my point .. damn I am soooooooooooo pissed .........

the mother is pissed at the wretched fool.......

Must we say all IS in fair and war??? must we ponder about the right and wrong way to go when it comes to love???
He has stepped aside in order not to make other people feel that they are crossing his line or stepping on his toes for that matter....
other people have taken him for granted for the great person he is ..

In the end it would mean just a little bit to have respect for him ... respect for how he feels...
he feels he is being insensitive .. when the truth is .. he is BEING SENSITIVE ... must I stress the word a million times to get my point across???

He is being sensitive .. he went to the extent of considering how others would feel before his own feelings .. even if it entailed that he would hurt in the end ...
we are deceived by his raucous ways.. his sexual gestures and sensual smile .. beneath everything said and done ... he's someone who really knows how to love ....

I have seen him happy and sad.. he has shed tears for people he loved like hell .. only for them to hurt him in the end .. I find myself laughing at his odd jokes .. and
not to mention his songs .. that can make you turn your head and bang it against the wall... after all his melodious voice simply takes your breath away .... literally ..
He has made each and one of us smile because he cares .. he simply cares ... he makes it a point to make sure that we're all okay ...
that we're all going to be fine .. when you find yourself out of cash .. and out of food... he'll be there to treat you and make sure you're full...

In the years that I have known him .. he has never made / wished ill of anyone ..
he would always wish everybody the best in the midst of his tears and the number of bottles of beer surrounding him .. and not to mention the numerous cigarette stubs left..
the ash around the ashtray .. would tell you of his hurt and frustration in life ..

now tell me .. is he being insensitive??? I simply think he's amazing .. he has proven to be all grown up.. and mature.. not the least bit insensitive..

I am on my 5th week on PIP. No absences/no lates penalty I got for being so stubbornly unappreciative of the work I have. While there are times we wish we can just get something that we really wanna do, and get everything in life, well, I had to admit that life isn't perfect.

Like I said, some things in life makes you change your mind, and makes you appreciate even the things you detest most in life.

While half my highschool buddies, make do from a meager salary doing a job that they don't exactly like also, I must say I am privileged enough to be earning a "little more" than that. Enough to get me things that I need and like.

While a quarter of my former collegues and university friends, would "die" to get in this company, I am taking that fact for granted.

And I see that, most of the time. Most of the time. But there are times I see a different picture.

Let's just say that I have been in "pleasing the customers" business for quite a while now. 5 years to be exact. And I see no definite career path. Well, I wouldn't wanna be 40 and still be doing the exact same things I have been doing for the past 5 years.

I want a change, something very far from I am doing now. I don't know If I can do it, but I definitely wanna try.

But while I am looking and waiting for that change to happen, I resolve to work and get through this PIP thing.

I still want to be the best I can be, wether I hate my job or not.

I have had a change of heart...I ought to be grateful.

we can no post pics on our blogs. however, before you guys get carried away, the pics should be hosted on a server. meaning, there should bne links to it. kung wala eh, sori. you might not be able to view it on the blog. also, you have to use a URL with a .jpg extension. i don't think i've made this work with a .html extension. i will be putting the code to use on the comments link below because i am unable to post it here. the blog automatically posts it as a pic.

example would be:

Something you can read and reflect on...and let me know of your thoughts...

Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love, we fail to
recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many
beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by
our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of
words, for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but
the man whom loves you more.

The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far
enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the
love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to
stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own
happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just
setting the other person free but it is also setting yourself free from all
bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.

Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith,
and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom
in bearing it. You may found peace in just loving someone from a distance
not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life
but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just
beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with
open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and
beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that
person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and
eventually consumes our thoughts and actions.

The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels
nothing more for us than just a friendship... don't be so bitter about it!
For it is a kind of FRIENDSHIP that will last for a LIFETIME!!! We start
our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our
efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.

You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to
accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.
Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to
someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible,
and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to
reason as well.

Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone
better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you
failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make sure that the tears wash away
the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of
yesterday and love will find its way back to you.

And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a
lifetime. "When I lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between
us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that I loved you
but you will never be loved again the way that I did."

When someone is in your life for a REASON. . . It is usually to meet a need
you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to
provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally,
or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there
for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your
part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to
bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk
away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must
realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is
done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move
on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to
share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you
laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give
you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a
season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build
upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept
the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind
but friendship is clairvoyant.

How do you define being insensitive to what other feels?

- We know each other...we treat each other more than a friend i guess??? I enjoyed her company but lately everytime I am with her hanging out, she keeps on texting someone and cellphones keeps on ringing...is she insensitive?
- I have an officemate...she is nice, pretty, sweet...however...she always find ways to stop our conversation sa IM...is she insensitive or just avoiding me?
- I have an officemate...I was beginning to like her...she is nice, pretty, sweet....however, I dont want to take advantage of it bcoz someone also likes her...did i made the right decision? ... She is just near my corner however, I cant reach her...Am i being insensitive?
- I have a friend courted by someone, we went out one time after not hanging out for quite sometime...the suitor called and keeps on txting her...suddenly she ran out of batt...she borrowed my phone and exchanged txt with the guy...worst the guy even called my cell and look for her...Is that guy insensitive? is the girl as well insensitive?
- I have a friend...she knows me inside out, we slept together a lot of times...I even give her a body massage....we suddenly went to an out of town trip....the suitor called in and when find out that I was with her, he texted her and said " pagmay ginawa sa iyo yan, suntukin mo sa adams apple"...worst comes to worst the girl just laughed at it ... I was expecting that she will explain to that guy that I will never do that to her...is she insensitive??? or just really like this guy coz he is so thoughtful???

The best thing to let someone realize her mistake is not by telling her what she did wrong, but by being silent and let her feel that there is something wrong forcing her to ask herself "why?" and later on aproaching you...this might be risky, coz only 2 things might happen : 1) She will let you go and tell herself " gusto mong lumayo o d bahala ka" 2.) friendship will be better the 2nd time around after she realizes her mistake.

Sometimes taking a risk is better than being contended of being hurt or not letting your feelings grow. If Jose Rizal was afraid to take the risk, where are we now?

- jhon -

so if your tired of blogs about love life, here's a different one... so hold on to your horses....

how will you tell someone (particularly a girl) that they smell bad? im not talking about the ordinary high school BO thingy thingy.... but bad smell like the smell that is what we Filipinos call 'mapanghi' - and aside from this... another smell lingers... its like a fishy odor that you smell when you get near the person.... it is hygiene or her natural smell perhaps (?) you tell me..... but it has to go. I have nothing against the person but its just the smell....IT REALLY HAS TO GO... makes u hold your breath for as long as u could everytime u get too close....

many of us have discovered the 'mapanghi' smell... but today i was able to find out about the fishy thing when i went to her station and she asked me a question.... i

any suggestions?

i've noticed that these past few weeks, all everybody could talk about here is their lovelife... or apparent lack thereof. well... since all of you are into love we might as well guess if there is some truth to a budding romance i heard thru the grapevine recently.

apparently, this batch of relatively new email and phone reps are into some office lovin'. thin girl supposedly left the actor as soon as she got back with her former flame and the actor promptly turned his amorous attentions to a still-to-be confirmed lesbian. if that plot is not thick enough, this same thin girl was caught teasing shorty to fellow batchmate cutie fatty. apparently, shorty is eager to sink his teeth to some cellulite-ridden flesh.cutie fatty's specifically. cutie fatty seemed friendly enough with shorty to have sex with him during the last team building get-together. hmmm... but maybe she is in no mood to commit right now because as far as i know, they are still "just friends." =P

hmmm... the plot is definitely thickening. how thick could it go? well... we'll just have to wait and see.*wink*

Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two

1. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you
cry.

2. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have.

3. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

4. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing
you can't have them.

5. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is
falling in love with your smile.

6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the
world.

7. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their
time on you.

8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right
one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be
grateful.

9. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
10. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do
is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time
around.

11. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and
know someone else and expect them to know you.

12. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

There are days like these: when I feel like crumpling myself into a ball and
rolling under my bed. When I want to sink to the bottom of the ceramic floor;
when I don't want to talk, I just want to listen. Sing me a lullaby and I'll
lay here, perfectly still, my head on your shoulder, my heart on your lap,
drifting, drifting, and drift—

Things are happening. I'm thinking entirely too much, lately. I'm thinking so
much, talking so much, asking so much, listening so much that I don't know
what's what anymore. I don't know which are my thoughts or your thoughts or his
thoughts... I don't know if what I believe in is what I want to believe in...or
what I'm really supposed to believe in.

I used to believe in things. They were like little marbles I'd keep in my
pocket and I could just slip my hand inside and swirl them around and hear them
make sounds, and I know, know what it all meant. But now…

This thinking, this feeling, this wondering it's wearing me out.

I want to be angry. It looks so much easier to be angry. Shout at the top of
your lungs, wave your arms in the air, slam a couple doors, break a few things
and then storm the hell out of there and be done with it. Goodbye, I hate you,
goodbye. I want to be angry, but I'm just poignant.

And it's not just one thing. Don't think it's just one thing, because it's not.
There's so much and it can be vexing. It's settling, like dust on a shelf. I
try to wipe it away, but it floats back into the air only to land in the same
spot. Things I haven't thought about in years, things I forgot have ever
happened; things I want to pretend don't exist. Dealing with these. Being adult
about it. Growing up already. I should, I really should, but...

Not now. Not today. Today, I am going to stop talking. I am not going to think.
I am not going to wonder. I am not even going to hope.

Whisper a sweet something in my ear and tell me it will be okay. Tell me I'll
be fine, and I will believe you.

-=aileen=-

Heartbreaks could last as long as you let it, would tear as deep as you allow it to. But the test is not how soon you forget but how you were able to heal and learn...